Apr
08

To commemorate the formal inauguration of White Wine Season, in addition to commemorating the resurrection of good ‘ol Jesus, I co-hosted an Easter Potluck last Sunday. Potluck is another word for “I don’t want to slave in the kitchen all day and spend $327  for you to come over and drink all my booze and leave me with 78 dirty dishes”.

In addition to some delicious side dishes, like Roasted Spring Vegetables with Salsa Verde and my very own Au Gratin Potatoes with Goat Cheese and Herbs, I failed miserably in the dessert department.

 I wasn’t going to make dessert, because baking just isn’t my thing and I experience anxiety when desserts are abandoned in my apartment and we’re forced to spend alone time together.  But on Easter Eve, feeling nostalgic for my mother’s Lemon Meringue pie…I decided to make the call.

This is a transcript of our conversation:

Mom: “Before I give you the recipe, there’s something you need to know.  Remember when you scratched off a winning instant lottery ticket at Kroger in 1988 and I spent the winnings on a brand-new microwave from Montgomery Ward?”

Me: “Um…yeah I guess.”

Mom: “Well, that Montgomery Ward microwave came with a Montgomery Ward microwave cookbook. And, all these years…”

Me: (gasp) “Mom! No! Don’t say it!”

Mom: “Yes, it’s true. The Lemon Meringue pie you and your brother have devoured every Easter since the late ’80s has been made in a microwave.”

Ancient family secret, revealed…just like that.  Coming to terms with this truth wasn’t easy. My Mom’s Lemon Meringue is the best lemon meringue I’ve ever had…the woman is capable of some serious peaks on that meringue. And to think that the origins of this tarte and sweet and fluffy and smooth annual treat was an ’80s microwave was astounding. 

I won’t bore you with the details, but look at this piece of shit.  Apparently it’s impossible, despite the strength and speed of your hand-mixing skills, to make meringue by hand. And apparently I missed some other very, very important Montgomery Ward Microwave tips.

Help yourself to a slice of failure!

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5 Responses to “Opening Day and Failure Pie”

 
  1. Mike Widner says:

    My grandma was famous for her lemon pies. Everyone wanted her recipe. When she passed I inherited the recipe box and was sure I had it!! There must have been a dozen different recipes for that bloody pie and no indication which was the “right” one. Laughs on me!

  2. Christina says:

    “Look at this piece of shit” hahahahahahaha

  3. Kirby says:

    Brooke, I can give your mom a run for her money in the lemon meringue pie category. I learned to make ‘em from the fabulous cook (from Rudyard in the U.P.) at my aunt and uncle’s mansion on Mackinaw Island when I spent my 16th summer there. The link above shows their old house, it’s the second one in. Of course I didn’t perfect my pie dough recipe for many years (by adding a bit of sour cream). You have got to use a good thick glass pie pan for sure. Seeing that photo above makes me think you used a pre-made pie crust and that is, shall we say, shameful! Let’s make one sometime together

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